You Can Choose Those Who Influence You — Make It Count!

I was catching up with a friend the other day after a long pause. We were updating each other on what we’d been up to during lockdown in Sri Lanka, post lockdown, work, family, new hobbies and interest, and mutual friends, among a host of other things. After about an hour chatting, she tells me what she always tells me — ‘Zai, despite any circumstance, how do you make the most of the moment and keep smiling and laughing when the world is in turmoil?!.’ My response — ‘it all boils down to who and what you surround yourself with. Pick those people and elements carefully!’

I was thinking about this as I put the phone down and did some reflecting. I truly believe in what I told my friend. Who you surround yourself determines how you live and deal with what life throws at you and how you manage your life, especially emotions, no matter what happens. Here’s what I’ve learnt over the years:

Choose your friends and associates carefully — Thankfully, you have the freedom to do so and these choices will determine how your life will be influenced and shaped. Friends don’t necessarily have to be those who validate your thinking (and it shouldn’t be); in fact, you should have friends who challenge you and advise you and add meaning to your life rather than those that inflate your ego or fuel your woes.

Pick those who truly care, who are authentic and genuine, who you can trust, and who will call out anything they see is unwarranted or unnecessary and who make time for you. These are true friends. And be the true friend in turn too.

Prune your ‘inner circle’ — Building rapports and relationships with a multitude of people is normal, and you should, if you want to enhance your corporate life. However, in contrary to the adage ‘keep your friends close, but your enemies closer’ keep negative people who add little meaning to your life at bay. Instead, shrink your circle, encompassing people who will be there for you, will give you good advice without judging, will whack you on the head when you need to be pulled up and will be there beside you through times of distress or to toast and celebrate the good times. Attract good energy and in turn be the positive energy to those within your circle when required.

While you may have built your perfect circle, you also have to understand that people may opt to leave it as their interests change and evolve or you may need to revisit because you have evolved. Be open to those changes and make those choices count in the long term.

In the end, life is all about making the right choices, and this should be done very carefully when picking people who will influence you through the various phases in your life. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason could be that you were stupid and made a bad choice. Somethings in life are beyond your control (like this damn COVID), but many choices are within your boundary, so navigate through these wisely.