What The … Frying Pan!
I had never been to Vietnam until I took up a two-year assignment in Hanoi about three months ago during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. The opportunity came my way quite suddenly and, overnight, I packed my bags and moved here. I had heard so much about this wonderful country — stories about the touristy hotspots, beaches, culture, food, among the many experiences to look forward to. So far, I’ve only seen perhaps one-tenth of what this country boasts of because the prevailing stringent restrictions to control the spread of COVID in the country restricts my quest to explore further.
Hopefully, there will be some respite in the new year and I will be able to put my travel plans into action.
While I ponder and meander and make notes of everything I want to, it’s given me time to observe and reflect on this country’s culture. If someone asked me to describe it briefly, my instant response would be ‘no fuss’ and if I were to elaborate further, drawing parallels to my Sri Lankan heritage, I would say that the people are as warm, friendly and welcoming as we islanders are typically known for. But what really stood out for me is simplicity — simple in terms of putting life into perspective to focus on what you really need vs what you think you should have or be. I have an interesting story that illustrates this point.
I didn’t know until I moved here that Vietnam has it’s own ‘Women’s Day’ — yes, they celebrate ‘International Women’s Day’ too on March 8, but they have their own day on October 20. I was surprised, and my curiosity prompted me to dig deeper and understand how this day came about, and the results of my research were inspiring.
Vietnam’s perception of women apparently has had a long history. From before the start of China’s rule over Vietnam — when the country is thought to have been matriarchal — all the way through its European rule, the Vietnam War, and everything in-between, society’s view of women has seen many turbulent shifts. Today, however, the role of Vietnamese women in society has progressed to a much stronger position than in the past. This progress, and the lời chúc mừng (“wish”) for future progress, is expressed each year through Vietnamese Women’s Day. Therefore, corporates too celebrate this day with special events and activities planned to recognize and celebrate women.
I was fortunate to have commenced work here just in time to witness, learn and also be a part of this special day — Vietnamese Women’s Day 2021. The day starts with ladies walking into office like true queens dressed up in either the traditional Vietnamese ‘ao dai’ attire, or something you would wear to a special occasion. Luckily, I had a dress that fit the requirement. There was a colorful backdrop with a photographer clicking away while the ladies posed, energetic music played in the background, colorful flowers and decorations adorned the walls and hallway, a festive lunch menu was served, and each lady walked away with a special ‘Women’s Day Gift.’ I received my gift too. And the gift was a frying pan. Yes, a frying pan! It caught me by surprise, at first, and my initial reaction was to crack a joke about it by saying “This is a great tool to whack someone with.” But I observed how thrilled and grateful everyone was with this, ummm, ‘useful’ gift. In fact, it was a great pan (and I needed one too).
I came home and reflected on what I had learnt that day about myself. We often get caught up in the progressive world of fancy things and this notion of being empowered that we sometimes forget the basic, simple and essential things in life. We’re taught and programmed to immediately question the intention of giving a lady a gift of a frying pan. Was there a message to say, leave your corporate job, go into the kitchen and cook?! Why couldn’t I get a spa voucher or a gift tag instead?! I think we sometimes overthink and over-analyze this and you need to be a part of an uncorrupted culture like this one to understand and gracefully accept simple gifts that are in fact essential. It taught me that we can be less indulgent and focus on what you really need in terms of material things. It taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and to be grateful and content.
I may engage in some Seasonal retail therapy this weekend though because I cannot shed indulgent addictions overnight — there are way too many Christmas sales I cannot miss out on. I will perhaps be more conscious, and focus more on what I need. I will remember this humbling lesson every time I cook my eggs in my precious frying pan because what matters in the end are the ‘moments’ not ‘things!’